I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
