I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
