then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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