I cockslap morals
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
