Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
