When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
