i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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