Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
