how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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