I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
