if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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