Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
