my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
