Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
