white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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