addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
