i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
