ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
