so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
