the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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