She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
