I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
