Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
