farters have to be the big spoon...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
