Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
