Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
a search helicopter?!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
