okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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