laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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