belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
