I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
