Plan B is the new Plan A
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
