You just made me feel so damn special
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
is it fun? or sober?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
