I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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