your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
