I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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