your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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