Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
