Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
