it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
