Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
