At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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