We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
