the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
