I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
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