All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
