There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I understand Curling. That high.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
