I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm having to shit out rocks
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
