Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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