I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You ruined the universe
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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