lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
